False friend?

I was so happy when we met again.

After all those years, a happy reunion

It’s been almost a quarter of a century

Since we were parted.

Lots of catching up to do,

sharing our life experiences

Full of excitement, trust born out of the past

I thought l had found a lifelong sister,

A dear friend, my best friend

A true companion at last,

That life would be brighter with you on my side.

On my side? Did l just say that?!

That’s where l was wrong.

So wrong.

Soon, l began to discover

And to realise that you would readily argue

for and defend the hostilities that were

meted to me by others

While you were reluctant to comfort or offer a kind word to me

To ease my pain

You always saw eye to eye with my detractors

It’s been said that

” they are never your friend

Until they have defended you behind your back”

You see nothing wrong when others

castigate me without cause

And dig for a fault, to use as a peg to hang unkindness from others to me

Even seeking to justify the wrongs and

attacks l suffer from their hands

You want to please others at my discomfort

You were all out to become

Everyone’s favorite girl

Slight my hurts and seek to defend those

who rise up against me; hate me

Even when those l don’t count as friends

Readily condemn their behavior

And stand by me, offering comfort.

Instead, you, “my friend” make great effort

To excuse those who oppose me

Slander me, and fight me without cause.

Friend?

Sometimes, l can sense a ting of jealousy

At other times, it’s . . .

Could it be envy? Ill will?

How hastily l would dismiss those thoughts!

But in time, l noticed that you were more a competition rather than a cheerleader

You would even go behind my back, and send people to take from me

Under false pretenses

False identities

Just so you could undercut

And steal my success

Then pretend to sympathize

With the slow patronage of what l had to offer

Then it hit me!

A friend in the time of need

Is a friend indeed.

I found out the bitter truth about our

“friendship’

I thought you would always be happy for me But l found out that

what kindness you would Keep from me,

you would readily offer to others

What help l needed from you

You declined when l asked for it. Said

” Sorry, won’t be possible, don’t have it”

What a great shock to hear from your

Own lips, that out of concern for another,

Not a friend, but solicited for him

By an acquaintance;

The same, the exact gesture of kindness

“That couldn’t be possible”, in my time of need,

Suddenly became possible and offered freely

And just about the same time too?

Oh, you unwittingly told me about it

Your kindness to another

Perhaps seeking my admiration and

Applause and praise.

Phew! What a revelation.

This person that l considered a friend

Couldn’t even bear to show kindness to me

Or be there for me, her ” friend”

In my time of need.

So what are friends for?

I just discovered

That you’re no friend of mine.

Even if you were, that you’re no true friend

You’re so suspicious of everything l do

Jealous and resentful

So critical and discouraging

Sometimes l could just wonder if it includes

hatred. Even that?

Not joyful over my triumphs and successes

A friend that cannot celebrate me, with me?

Always looking to dampen my fire

Looking for the worst in me,

and in every instance and circumstance

How couldn’t l see it before?

How come l missed it?

Too trusting, naive, gullible. Maybe

I am glad l found out who you really are,

Eventually

My competition, backstabber, secret hate.

I shudder to think

Just how much gall you contributed

To the bitter experiences I’ve encountered

Since our “reunion”?

What mischief you have done on my blindside

What relationships you have severed

By the gall in your mouth.

But l thank God

That l finally found out about you.

6 thoughts on “False friend?

  1. I’m sorry that you had to go through the pain you did. Backstabbing “friends” come around all to often. Yet don’t close your heart! True friends come from the oddest places. I have a friend from high school (and I’m pushing 60) who has stuck with me all these years. The only friend I have from way back when. And no one wanted to be his friend for various reasons. So, keep your heart and eyes on Yeshua (Jesus), and rejoice when you discover a true friend, which only time and experience will reveal. [And yes, I’ve also had a friend I counted closer as a brother, but when I was at the absolute lowest point in my life, he stuck the knife (figuratively) in, so I also know what it feels like. Crying to God helps, as well as writing such as you did here.]
    Shalom!
    – Yosef

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.